Its not that bad.

Another topic that's been hot and heavy lately is Gay Marriage. Some are opposed to the thought of same sex marriage. And some people aren't. We need to consider divorce, abortions, adoptions, and the family unit. And how this will affect the "normal" family. And what, if anything, will happen to your family and your values. 

The divorce rate in America according to www.divorcerate.org/, for 2012 puts America at number 6 at 3.4 per 1,000 people. Or roughly 50% of first marriages fail, and 67% of second marriages fail. Hell, I've been married and divorced twice. I'm afraid of any kind of commitment to anyone now. What if I make another mistake, what if the woman I marry decides she needs to spend all the money we have, or if we have children can we raise them together? Everyone should know that marriage is basically a transaction. It is a business, a bond, a contract between two people understanding that they will be tied together for life,or a number of years to help and stand beside each other. What you do affects the other person, and what they do affects you. I didn't learn this, but I understand it now.

"Divorce rates all across the globe have been rising rapidly owing to certain problems like incompatibility between couples, infidelity issues, lack of trust and understanding, and financial pressures. It is sad to observe that the rising divorce rates across the world and see marriages breaking." (divorcerate.org) 

The two prominent arguments against gay marriage are: a gay family will only have two mommy's or two daddy's and that will be detrimental to a child. Or that marriage is a holy union between a man and a woman in the eyes of the Lord. When you get married in a church it is, "in the eyes of the Lord and congregation." When you marry elsewhere it is in the eyes of the state. It is a ceremony to let people know that you have decided you are done looking, dating, and searching for that someone to spend the rest of your life with. 

The union, or marriage can be done by someone who can officiate you legally. Or, in California you can have someone pay a small fee to be a Deputy commissioner of marriage for one day. The license you pay for is signed and sent to a state department to be put away in a file. You keep you at your house, in your wallet or purse, or you can frame the paper. It is used to let people know that legally you are together. 

Divorcing is a dissolution of the contract of marriage. It's another piece of paper that voids the marriage contract. That's right, another contract to end a contract. It goes pretty easily if the two parties decide on who gets what. Money, children, financial burdens(debt), usually gets in the way of being easy. Money is one thing, you can make more, financial burdens leave one person drowning in debt for months or years, and children get a new look at how they see the parental units. 

My parents divorced when I was one. My mom remarried, they got divorced. She remarried and they have been together for close to 20 years now. I witness first hand what  it was like to be that child. My brother and I looked to her for what we needed. She worked, helped with homework, provided everything we needed, and made time for us. Having to dedicate time to another human being dependent on you is a hard thing. People work, have relationships, need alone time, and sometimes need rest. Some single people can barely make time for family and friends. A single parent without the help of the other parent is pushed to the brink of going insane in a matter of minutes. My brother and I tried with our mom!

What about those children, the ones left behind by one parent, or even both parents. The marriage has dissolved into a bickering, childish display of," look who I am screwing" or "look how well I am doing without you." The child, or children, who at one point had both parents constantly with them, sees this and will think this is normal and when they do have a relationship it falls to pieces as well. But, what if the child grew up with two people who loved them and spent time with them? Had dinners with them, helped with homework, was there for the big moments in life? What if? There are too many scenario's to play out. We have children with horrible parents or living in a shelter who need a loving family.

I'm not saying single parents can't be the only parent, its been going on for years. But having two parents does relieve some of the pressure. I don't have kids, I can only say what I have seen and heard from relatives and family. My upbringing is one thing, I was on the child side. Most single parents are the hardest working people I know. 

Abortions are brought up in just about every argument these days, so I might as well bring this up.  If you haven't read Freakonomics you should, www.freakonomics.com/. The author uses math and statistic to look into problems of the USA. Abortions and crime statistics are one of the area's they looked into. I'm not too concerned about the crime statistics. I am about the abortions." Nearly half of all pregnancies among American women are unintended, and 4 in 10 of these are terminated by abortion. 22% of all pregnancies end in abortion."(www.womenscenter.com). I will not tell a woman what she should do with her body. And I did not look into what the reason for the abortion was. 

22% is a large number, if you consider the female population of America is almost 160 million. That is 35 million women getting an abortion! But what if half of that 35 million didn't go through with it, and gay marriage was legal? The children who are unwanted now have a chance to be adopted and put into a home with a couple who are in love and married. The child would have an advantage of having two people who cared and were honestly worried about them. We would still have a problem with bedtime, teeth brushing, and room cleanliness. 

Should gay and lesbian couples be allowed to marry? I don't have to make that decision. I have plenty of gay and lesbian friends, and would honestly like to see them able to get the "benefits" of being married. The ability to use the better insurance plans, the tax advantages, the ability to make a health decision for the other person. I know they would be good parents. They would have a set of values that they teach their children. And hopefully those values are honest and good values. To treat people with respect, dignity and honesty. 

If I have a family and I don't approve of gays and lesbians and what they do, I need my family to understand why. If it is because of religious views, then by all means I will teach it. But, I have to be mindful, if I teach hate and disgust it will be learned and passed on. It might not stick with them forever, but they will dispense your hate and disgust until they form a view of the world around them and what they will or will not accept. 

Gays and lesbians are not threatening families, they want to have families. They want to be able to have rings and ceremonies. They want to work all day, come home, make dinner and bitch about the neighbors yard and why the grass is so high. They want to be able to call the insurance company and ask to add another person, and then pass out from the price hike. They want to be able to look at the bank statement and fight over who spent too much money on a shopping trip. Everything that goes on in a "normal" marriage.

That's about all I want to write about this. I tried to think of reasons why they should not marry, but other than church and religion. I got nothing. If you feel the need to message me or send me hate mail, thank you. I will read it and hopefully try better next time.

GO!

Watch this Bill Burr video

New House

Hello all! Sorry for the delay in blogging. I've been working, going to school and buying my first house. It seems to take up most of my time doing those three things. I did enjoy the feeling of signing my name numerous times though. Now to get the feeling of bills down. And not just regular bills. I'm talking about the bills that come out of nowhere. Things you have to have. Trash service, lawn care and maintenance, house maintenance, updates and upgrades to my new-old domicile.

So the house thing. I've calculated it up before, how many times I've moved in my life, and it wasn't pretty. About half of those times were when I was younger and my parents took all of the financial burden. But the past few years it was on me. I did live with roommates for a hot minute. And I did live in Iraq for a while. Besides those times, I've moved about a dozen or so times on my own. Moving sucks. A new place is great, it holds new possibilities and new roads to wander down. But when you rent, you are paying another person's mortgage, you throw away cash on down payments, and you can't make it your own. You can paint the walls, but when you leave they need to be back to the original color. You can't extend or expand on the house, the flooring stays the same, and the appliances are usually hideous. You take it as is, for a lack of better wording.

The house I bought is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, a 2 car garage with a huge yard and bad ass back patio. I have a fireplace in the living room and one on my back porch. What?? Yes on my back porch. I'm close to a lake, I've got places to put things, and finally a place to stay at for years and years without having to worry about when I will have to move or where I will move to.

The downside to this.... I had a termite infestation. The living room had this ugly dark brown, wood paneling around the walls. I decided to take it off, and that's when I found the trails. There was drywall up, but the termites had eaten most of the paper from the drywall. They tunnel through concrete and then the gypsum to get to the wood, paper or whatever they want to eat. My heart sank to the bottom of my gut! I did some research and found it usually cost around 10 grand to have this stuff repaired. That was the average people had paid to remove insulation, drywall and framing. Luckily I found a good contractor who is taking care of all the little bastards destruction for a fraction of the "average". Plus I am doing some work as well. Might as well get my "diy" going. I'm hoping in 30 years this place looks awesome. I'll be 63 by that time and will need a place to just come home, relax, and then complain about the world to my neighbors.

There are other downsides, like the amount of bills I pay, grocery shopping, cleaning....etc. But at the end of the day, its mine and I can do what I want to it. If I want to paint the whole house blue and yellow, I can. But, I worry about resale value. So I am making an effort into what should go in the house, and what I would like in a home. I have to feel comfortable and know that at any time someone can come over and feel comfortable. They don't need to live there, just come by and say, "yes, I can crash on this couch and not have to be drunk to do so." What makes you comfy and what makes me comfy may be totally different, but that is okay.

So far I have decided that my living room will have hardwood flooring, a new ceiling fan, a pass through to the kitchen, and a new fan. Colors...... I haven't decided yet. The kitchen, bathrooms, and closets will all have makeovers. The bedrooms will get some new carpet and paint. That's about it for the inside. I plan on adding a privacy fence, metal roof, some landscaping, and maybe 4 goats. Nah, probably not goats, maybe a dog.

GO!