Suicide Prevention

I've had a few days to sit and think about how I was going to present this post. I usually post about me, what I'm doing, the things that I see in the world that are just unfathomable. This weekend, Sunday to be exact, I found out about a young man I had met at Roberto-Venn who had passed on. The toxicology report isn't back yet, but it looks like he overdosed.

And now I sit here, in front of my keyboard, stunned by actually typing it out. Reading the words makes it hit me even more. I can only imagine the weight I feel and how much that same type of weight his parents feel. (if they ever read this I hope they know there are many out here in internet land that will miss that crazy kid)

Austin "Sparks" Kortum, was 18 and loved metal and spiky guitars. Long curly hair, I'm pretty sure he had dyed it red and tons of other colors. You could see the extreme enjoyment he had for music. Megadeth shirts were a daily clothing choice for him, I'm not sure I saw him in anything else. Always throwing up "Devil Horns" \m/ and laughing. I'm pretty sure everyone liked talking to him, who wouldn't. He was flipping his hair around talking METAL! BLS, DIMEBAG, SLAYER....I'll stop there, but it goes on and on. 

He had an accident years before that had left one hand mangled up. He still rocked it though like it was nothing. Thinking back on it now, it seems like I only talked shop with him. What we were doing in class, and what we would do when we finished up. Guitars we wanted to build, bands we wanted to see, things we were going to work on "one of these days".

Sunday though, Sunday was the day it hit me that sometimes, some people are going to be gone way before they should be.

Artwork by Matthew Ward 

I spent almost 7 years in the Army. I never fired my gun, never took up against enemy troops. I fixed helicopters. I questioned my reason for being in Iraq numerous times. It was for the guys and girls on the ground. The Apache helicopters I fixed, repaired, launched, and washed were flying coverage missions to watch over the guys and girls on the ground. They were walking, driving, and standing in harm's way, and I was able to support them by repairing my helicopters, for my pilots, to protect them.

When you join the Army they tear you down to build you up. Or so they told me. You learn how to march, shoot weapons, fix all sorts of things, and how to take care of yourself and others. You learn basic combat lifesaving techniques, how to read a map, and what to look for when a fellow soldier is in need. You look for signs that they need help. Suicide prevention was always taught. 2011 was my last year as a Regular Army soldier, that year suicide's decreased slightly. But in 2008, CNN reported that they could top the whole country, they could surpass the national suicide rate. You learn through slides what to look for, and hopefully how to prevent it.

I'm not saying Sparks overdosed, I don't know. I can't speak for what happened. He had told me once that he had "trouble" once before, and that was pretty much the extent of that conversation. We then talked about Dave Mustaine doing karate or some weird thing like that. His guitars can be seen at Roberto-Venn's website. Check it out, that school does some really great stuff. You may wanna try it yourself.


Sometimes it's harder to see the signs when you are around a person constantly. You may just shrug it off as mood swings or some other personal trait they have. It is extremely hard to see the signs when you are hundreds of miles away and you know you should keep in touch, but you figure you can do it tomorrow, next week, or maybe next month. I use to tell myself, "if they are going to do, there is no stopping them." That was my mentality, I was separating the part of your brain that should be caring. Suicide is a selfish act, done in a moment of what some may say is desperation. The person takes themselves away from everyone who knows them, cares for them, and loves them. Who knows what the trigger was that lit the match to the charges inside them. You can't ask them, they have removed themselves from the conversation.

Everyone knows there are numbers to call, websites to go to, churches, groups, and hospitals to walk to. I'm almost certain that most of the people who are contemplating suicide will actually take that step, that call, or type in that Google search. I'd like to say that things like this are very preventable and curable. But, I'm just not so sure anymore.

In Iraq, we heard a story about a soldier who was on a webcam with his wife who took his life with his service weapon. We heard stories, and actually had soldiers, who were on suicide watch. I think some just wanted to get away from the situation that we were in, being in Iraq and all. Some probably wanted too, and someone maybe had actually seen the signs.

Signs to look for: talking about suicide, seeking out lethal means, putting affairs in order, no hope for the future,self-destructive behavior, saying goodbye, focusing on death, and a sudden sense of calm. I got these all from http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm. It explains them in more detail. You can check out, http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ as well. There are tons of sights like these on the web.

I can't say I have ever helped anybody with suicidal thoughts, or that I stopped them from completing the task. But if you are reading this, and you have helped someone, make sure to check up on them. If you have a friend who is usually depressed for some strange reason, call them. You have 5 minutes to spare. If it is you that needs someone to talk to, you have the internet, probably facebook, a phone, twitter.... you have a way to talk to someone out there. Call anyone you haven't in a few days or weeks, chat with them, you'd be surprised by the way they greet you. There is someone out there who is thinking of you, missing you, worried about you, and probably people who love you.

https://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=7049F2F1-C9C4-C392-588484F7906539D6&r=1

http://www.sprc.org/

I did less fact checking on this blog. I went mostly off of what I've seen, learned over the years. I don't know how to let the family and friends of Austin know that what little time I had spent with him, it did leave a lasting impression on me. I am sorry for this traumatic and unneeded loss. A bunch of the RV fall class of 2011-2012 will miss and remember him.

Take care of yourselves.

Tattoo Temple

City ink keeps tattoo shops out of Temple

Temple Texas Tattoo Advocacy Facebook Page

GO! 

Its another wonderful day in Texas, and I have decided to wait on another blog post I have been working on to bring up something. Tattoo shops in the town I grew up around are prohibited. Why? The city of Temple says its for the health of the citizens. The City Attorney says there is no health problem with illegal and home based tattoo shops. I'm a pretty boring kind of guy, I had a tattoo done in someones trailer house years ago. I think there might be a small problem and they are turning a blind eye to it.

The guy I met, Christopher, is working to change the ordinance and rules. He wants to open a shop in Temple, allow his art to be seen, express himself in his hometown, and be a small business owner in a community that is growing daily.

Here it goes.

I was meeting a friend for a drink or two. About 20 minutes later I met Christopher, or "Per". I overheard him talking about opening a shop here in Temple and the amount of trouble he was having with the ordinance and city officials here. He had a petition going around and he was looking for signatures. Granted, he was in a bar, but he was only giving information, and he wasn't actively going around asking people to sign papers and "join the cause." He was just talking to Dave. (Dave being the manager at the bar that I have worked at, and been a patron of for the better part of 12 years.) Chris was hoping to change the ordinance to allow him to open a shop, the first shop in Temple, he was discussing all the small details with Dave. I was "overhearing" the conversation.

So, as my friend was talking to some other dude, I spoke up to Chris and was able to get his attention. Tattoo artists, at least the few I have met, will talk about tattoo's with you. Do they enjoy answering questions and talking tattoo's? I'm not sure, but to me it's  like asking if you really wanna get into it about your job and have people begging for freebies all the time. I usually try and move the conversation to another subject and discuss pizza toppings. Chris asked about my sleeve, and then we just talked about what he was doing. He is passionate about what he does, and view's the tattoo as an art form. One that he enjoys and loves to learn more about everyday. So we only really talked about tattoo's, some music, and other art forms  briefly.

The main focus of our conversation was what he wanted to do. The perception that this small town, and I say small very loosely, has about tattoo's. We talked about him wanting to open a shop, what he was doing actively to get that to happen, and what he felt needed to be done. I gave some suggestions and was really hoping I could help him in any way I could. Hence this blog. I'm sure I could go and knock on doors, speak with other people, write city officials, state officials, etc. This will be my start, I have already posted the website to the advocacy group, Temple Tattoo, on my Facebook page. It links you to the petition, his brother's shop in San Marco, TX, and 2 or 3 other sights that are tattoo based. Check them all out. Sign the petition if you would like, no one is forcing you... yet. Just kidding, my blog is harmless so far.

Everyone has a story to tell

Within the last 20 or so years tattoo's have almost become almost normal. Wal-mart, truck stops, television shows have all embraced tattoo's like a long lost cousin. Years ago, tattoo's were only for criminals and the military. They were a way to rebel against THE MAN, your parents, the establishment, the ninjas that want fresh beautiful skin. But now having a tattoo is just like having a shirt. The main difference is that a tattoo can help start a conversation with a complete stranger, it can tell a story, express an emotion, or remind you of an experience that changed your life. It can also help you remember the ones you've loved, lost, and never want to forget.

Sailors and military members have always had a lust for the ink. I wear mine to show the bands and music that changed me, helped me hear the music, and to show how much I enjoy a good skull drawing. Many other military members will get a remembrance tattoo of a fallen comrade, a unit they were in, or all the units they were in. I have heard of Sailors getting tattoo's for each continent, country, state, province, or city they have visited. With each soldier, sailor and marine you could get numerous answers. Ask a veteran to see his or her tattoo. Then ask why they got it.

Don't get sick

Doing a little research sent me to this page, scroll to the bottom to see the Temple, Texas Ordinance on Tattoo shops. If you don't want to, it just says no one can have a tattoo shop in the city limits, and you can only tattoo if you are a doctor. When you scroll up the page it has sections on rats, rat proofing buildings, spitting on sidewalks, and venereal disease. Yes, tattoo's and rat proofing are very similar and should be treated very much the same. Rats were, for a very long time, considered the cause of the black plague. I'm not sure the tattoo can say the same thing though. Tattoo's when done by non-professionals, in a basement, or kitchen, using whatever equipment, can and will spread disease.

 "Sec. 16-109. Tattooing Prohibited.
 It shall be unlawful for any person within the city limits to operate a tattoo shop or 
engage in the practice or business of tattooing as a tattoo operator."

I do realize this page is the Health and Sanitation (ch.16) of Temple, TX ordinance and laws. Considering that, "Per" has seen, on the Temple Mall, a kiosk that has tattoo supplies for sale. But to whom are they selling these supplies to? The shops in Killeen aren't going to drive to Temple, (20-30 minutes), to buy from a kiosk. I'm sure the shop in Belton won't be doing that either. I don't trust buying anything from a kiosk, unless its one of those remote control helicopters or a calendar, and I definitely wouldn't buy needles from there. Maybe it's just the guns and motors, I will have to see for myself.

Most tattoo shops are very clean, almost to the point of what we think as hospital cleanliness. Minus the sick coughing children, and exorbitant bill that you receive when you leave, shops are almost hospital like. The artist has to have clean clothes, sterilized needles, you have to be clean! The area you will have tattooed will be cleaned and shaved, the artist will wash his or her hands and put on gloves or vice versa. I'm not a tattoo artist and it has been a year or two since I received my last tattoo. Then everything is covered in plastic wrap, or paper. That's right the chair you sit it, the pillow you put your arm or leg on, its all covered in plastic. Just like your grandparent's couch. Luckily for you, those needles they get are sterilized and they might even open them up in front of you. How cool is that?

Let me tell you something....

"Per" is a Central Texas native. His parents opened Big Fish Tattoo in Belton. For years it was always there, off of 190 just waiting for you to turn 18 and come in. His mother did my Van Halen tattoo a few years back. He has been tattooing now for 13 years. Working in San Marcos, San Antonio and Austin after 6 years in Belton, he has come back. He is a down to earth guy looking to become a small business owner in his hometown (or at least close to it).

"Per" has written letters to the City Council and Mayor. He has talked with YNN, which I provided the link for at the beginning. He is going about this in a very professional way. Temple is expanding, much like numerous other cities and towns on I-35. Austin has devoured Round Rock, soon it will be knocking at the doorsteps of Salado and Belton, until it is finally just Dallas to San Antonio all roadside Chili's, IHOP, truck stops, and outlet malls. With the expansion of I-35, it will allow for cities and towns to grow exponentially in a few short years.

What I would like to address to the Temple City Council is why would they open up the liquor sales in a once dry city/county, but not allow for tattoo's. The sales tax on liquor and wine is probably better, but with so many buildings that need a business why not allow a tattoo shop open up? If regulated shops are able to open, the shop could slow the amount of revenue going to Harker Heights and Killeen. No offense to those shops, but keeping it local could introduce new money and art into the community. That is just one small aspect of what I could see.

What about the perception, the looks

I can only speak from my experience, and stories from friends. 

Yes, years ago the only people who had tattoo's were in gangs, were criminals, or ex-military. But now we have grandmother's, grandfathers, and very well-to do individuals getting tattoo's. My sleeve barely gets noticed. 20 years ago, I would be looked at as something completely offensive and evil. No one will come up to me and tell me how they think what I have on my skin is offensive, they come up and ask where I got my work done. Who did it? Did it hurt? 

The city of Temple is much like every other "small" Texas town, lots of churches and plenty of elders. I'm not against the churches or the elders. We do have a small junior college, a VA that serves many Veterans, and plenty of open minded people. Hell, 12 years ago when I was bar-tending only 3 bars were fully stocked. You had to join and pay for a special card to become a member of "the club". It was ridiculous, but it was what it was. 

Minus the missed opportunities in tax revenue, the discrimination of the city, and the lack of forward thinking, I believe with enough people signing the petition and standing behind changing this ordinance. 

Don't you ever ....

Don't get a girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, or special someones name. 

DO

Research what you really want. Talk to the artist and discuss what you want. This is permanent, and they will let you know that if you come in undecided. Enjoy the art, help out the artist, TIP! and watch out for those bedroom, kitchen, and garage ink slingers.

Now go and sign the petition please.

http://templetattoo.info/