As I grow older I realize that I am going to gain weight. I realized that my hearing will begin to diminish. I know that at some point I will become even more grumpy than I have been in my younger years. So when did my butt get so big? When did my gut get so big?
I blame Bud Light/Jager bombs, Dr. Pepper/Big Red, Cheeseburgers and a lazy attitude. I said goodbye to the Army lifestyle around October of 2010. I was in Iraq. I had made up my mind to end my career as a military man and move on to something "better". I gained weight, I lost all motivation for what I did, and I quit giving my all.
Fast forward a few months and I gave my farewell speech to Alpha Company in Kansas. That was a sad day. Not a "boo hoo, I'm gonna need a tissue", but more of "am I really doing this?' The next few weeks were a blur. I left Kansas, moved back to Temple, Texas and started reintegrating myself into society as a civilian. I drank everyday, I slept late, I ate way too much.
When I left for Arizona I stopped drinking mostly, but I kept eating. Delicious mexican food, amazing cheeseburgers, Whataburger. I drank only the finest 44 ounce Dr. Peppers and ate the fattiest snack foods. I was physically bulking up for a winter sleep that I would never partake in, partly because I am not a bear.
When I came back to Temple, I moved in with my little brother. My room was upstairs, and for about 14 steps, they seemed to be the longest steps ever. I would be out of breathe going up and down them. I still ate horribly, I drank alot and I kept up my liquid diet of Dr. Peppers and Big Reds.
The day my brother, his fiance and I moved into our newly rented house I noticed a large mirror in the bathroom that was now mine. The first shower I took, I scared the crap out of myself. Who was this large, overweight, beast of a man. I wasn't even a beast, I was a pudgy, dumpy, slouching mess. I won't say I was disgusted, but i was embarrassed.
Last week I ordered Insanity. I weighed myself too, 245 lbs. WHAT THE HELL! I have never been this big! I have let myself go, way beyond anything I have ever known. I'm hoping this video will get me motivated enough to lose some weight. Thanks go to my brother for doing it with me, otherwise I would probably stop at the first sign of pain.
The weight gain bothered me, frustrated me, and got me depressed at some points. I would lose my breathe while walking(smoking doesn't help either). I could barely play frisbee golf without getting sore. I have clothes that I purchased while in the Army that I can't even wear anymore.
When I would tell myself that it didn't bother me that people made fun of my beer gut, or my "fat ass, or my "chubby ness" I lied. I hated that person, I hated myself(for that brief moment). I would drown myself in beer or food. I was unhealthy in all the wrong ways.
My goal isn't to lose weight so that I can run a marathon, hike a mountain, or battle androids. I am losing weight because I am tired of my stomach hiding my feet from me. I am tired of going out of breathe from tying my shoes, walking to my truck, or going up a flight of stairs. I am not that big, but enough is enough. I want my old clothes back, I want my guitar to sit in front of my when I play, not on my side.
My motivation is that big mirror in the bathroom, My brother for helping me, and the thought of my ass crack showing. No one wants to see my ass crack when I bend over to tie my shoe. I'm not going to live forever, but I don't want to shorten my life any more than I already have.
GOAL 1 - lose 25 pounds in 2 months.
GOAL 2 - Quit Smoking
GOAL 3 - lose 45 pounds in a year
YOU GOT THIS. I'm just a phone call away if you want/need some motivation. Seriously, I'm going through the WTF when did I get old and fat journey too. It really kind of sucks. And it really sucks going it alone. So wonderful that your brother is helping with the Insanity. It really does make you want to punch kittens, but after a couple weeks you'll start noticing how going up stairs doesn't wind you as fast, how much more energy you have and that you ARE CAPABLE. It's a wonderful feeling.
ReplyDeleteLove you brother! I'm here for you [and have decided to document my fatness on the blogosphere too - we're awesome!]